Today I decided to take a break from the drive-thru mexican havens I like to call home, and I noticed something really interesting. I weighed myself at 6:30 in the morning, after a long night of compacting my bowel with 11 beers, 6 tacos, and 2 Chipotle burritos. Then I went the whole day without any water or food, taking only 16 Claritin-Ds for energy. Weighing myself again this evening, I found that I'm down 135 lbs. My buddy assures me that weight fluctuation from varying levels of water saturation in the body is normal, but I'm pretty sure I've found a wormhole to another universe that starts in my gonad.
Dieters of the world: Forget about the silly 3500 calories in a pound of fat mumbo-jumbo. Stop wasting your money on Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or gym memberships. The answer is in Claritin-D and believing! I know most of you won't trust me on this, but I know there are one or two of you that (in the great words of Morpheus) are beginning to believe.
Cheers,
Lien
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2 comments:
This one is simple. The Claritin D helps the tapeworm grow to epic proportions. They thrive in hat compacted environment. The Claritin D helps it expand to the "hard to reach places." It makes sense.
We also can't deny the "secret ingredient" in Filiberto's that helps it along. No amoeba can stay alive forever without assistance from Filibertos (or Eriberto's, Aliberto's, Roberto's or Los Betos.
Done and DONE! Mystery solved.
Also take into consideration of tag-team action of amoebas/tapeworms. Doughnuts are also known to have secret properties to prolong/sustain/improve parasitic growth. It's like a cocktail of symbiosis. A sort of... Intestinal growth muse.
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